Upsets and Downsets

Hey,
How are you? 2010 aren't great at all. it is another hectic and fast paced flying time. 2010 is gonna end soon then comes 2011.. another new year is not so much a surprise.
It is what will be done and had been taken place will make the year a joyous and fruit bearing year.
In my birthday 2010, my auntie and uncle set up a birthday dinner with me. They prank me said that their printer or computer got problems. But at the same time I have other important thing to be done. I was really touched by what they have done. I am in a total surprise my auntie and uncle know how to joke.. They are always strict but kind at heart not in jokes..
My uncle is good and humble God fearing guy. I wished I have dad like him, but it is fate that calls. Sometimes I wonder What if ..... have happened. Could my life be more easier and more happier than what I have now?
Sometimes humans being just can't comprehend what is beneath the other person's feelings.. I hate a guy in my class always talks about my past. But I didn't hate him 100% just hate him whenever I see him. I hate him especially when he opens his mouth that is full of ......
I hate the life I have now, But I am happy and contended just that sometimes, People do make me feel so depress and feeling the world is not a place for me what if I commit suicide. I hate....
It is I that can make a difference in this world.. I hope GOD will give me the strength to carry on in this earthy form of life.. I can't tell nor express what I have in mind to others. Cause I don't trust them. Building trust is also important.
I hope God hears my prayers. I know he does..
I learn that life is not about us totally. the way we acted and think but be of deep thoughts and deep considerations to oneself and others..